


Finding Nathaniel

by glitterandgin



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M, Reunions, basically just an expansion on the nate quest in 2, now with more gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 18:04:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5100440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterandgin/pseuds/glitterandgin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An extended edition look at the Finding Nathaniel quest from a nanders perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Nathaniel

“Anders?” It was the second time Nathaniel had said his name since they’d found him in the Deep Roads. If the first time had been like an unexpected gift, the second time was like the sort of Satinalia he’d always dreamed of as a child in Kinloch Hold. When Nathaniel said his name, it sounded like a blessing from the Maker himself. He made two syllables sound like a symphony, and Anders wished he knew what he’d ever done to deserve such reverence.

Anders stopped to look at Nathaniel, really look at him. Eight years had done little to change him. It was unfair, really. He might have a few more lines around his eyes and mouth, and his facial hair had changed a bit (Anders would never admit it out loud, but he kind of missed that ridiculous patch of hair under Nathaniel’s lip), but he was still very much and very visibly the Nathaniel he knew and loved.

“Yes?” he said, swallowing the “love” that tried to crawl its way out of his mouth.

“Are you all right?” Nathaniel said, taking his hand as the rest of the party huddled around the campfire.

Anders blinked. When was the last time someone had asked that? More importantly, was he capable of answering that right now? His emotions were like one of those Orlesian yoghurt desserts, anxiety and relief and exhaustion and _love_ layered one on top of the other until he couldn’t tell which one to base his answer on. Eventually he said, “I missed you.”

Nathaniel led him to the side of the cavern, where they sat down. “I missed you, too,” Nathaniel said softly, like a feather falling to the ground. He squeezed Anders’ hand. “When you left…”

Anders looked away. “I’m sorry.”

Nathaniel brought his hand up to his mouth and kissed it. “Don’t be sorry. Just be here.”

Anders managed a weak smile and turned to face Nathaniel, their knees touching. “I think I can handle that.”

Nathaniel leaned forward, stopping with just enough space between them to give Anders the chance to back away. Anders closed the gap between them, gasping as their lips met. They kissed as though they meant to make up for every day they’d spent apart, as though this simple act could keep them together from that point onward. They separated long enough for Anders to straddle Nathaniel, Nathaniel tugging the tie out of Anders’ hair as he did so. When they resumed kissing, it was with the painful, pressing knowledge that their time together was transient. It hung over their heads with more solidity than the Deep Roads, making them clutch at each other with touches that stirred embers long-since considered dead by both of them.

“You never mentioned this in your stories about the Wardens, Blondie,” Varric said from off to the side.

Anders pulled away from Nathaniel so quickly that he would have fallen backwards onto the stone floor if not for Nathaniel’s hands around his waist. He cleared his throat and scowled at Varric. Hawke was standing off to the side with an unreadable expression and tilted head.

“He’s right, Anders,” she said, smiling slightly. “I’m sure I would have remembered if any of your stories included ‘and then Nathaniel and I snuck off to a dark corner and started sucking face like a couple of teenagers.’”

Anders felt his cheeks warm. He moved to climb off of Nathaniel, but was held in place. Bolstered by Nathaniel’s action, he said, “My mistake. Next time I’ll be sure to give you a step-by-step description of all of my romantic encounters. What do you think, Nate, should I narrate everything we do?”

Nathaniel raised an eyebrow. “That would be a new experience for us.”

Varric coughed. “You know, Blondie, there might be some things I’m better off not hearing in your stories.”

Hawke continued to stare at them, her smile growing slowly. “I can’t believe you never mentioned this, Anders.”

Varric nudged her thigh with his elbow. “Come on, Hawke. Broody’s gonna get jealous if you keep undressing them with your eyes like that.”

“Fine, but only if they kiss again before I leave,” she said, raising her eyebrows.

Nathaniel’s expression could have evaporated the Waking Sea. “I think it’s time I retire to my tent. Anders?”

Anders climbed off of his lap, taking his hand as he stood. “Right. I’m a little tired, too. Don’t want to fall asleep while we’re fighting darkspawn, you know.”

Once Hawke and Varric had returned to the campfire, Nathaniel wound an arm around Anders’ waist and whispered, “I think I could stay awake a few more hours.”

Anders smiled and kissed Nathaniel’s cheek. “Good. I’m pretty sure the Maker had bigger plans for this encounter than for us to sleep in separate tents.”

They snuck off to Nathaniel’s tent, which had been set up several feet away from the others. Once they were safely inside, Anders held Nathaniel close to his chest, just taking time to savour the sensation of Nathaniel breathing against him. Nathaniel turned his head and began kissing the spot just under Anders’ jaw, reaching around to stroke the back of Anders’ neck with one hand. Anders gasped, reaching under Nathaniel’s shirt and running his hands over Nathaniel’s chest and abdomen, still in awe of the warmth and life he felt in a body he’d given up hope of ever seeing again.

They separated, shakily undressing each other as though each expected the other to be an apparition that would disappear with the wrong movement. When they were both finally undressed, they stopped and stared, temporarily too stunned to proceed. Nathaniel looked at him like he’d just seen definitive proof of the Maker’s existence. Anders hoped his expression conveyed the fact that he knew he _had._

Anders kissed him, and it felt like returning to Vigil’s Keep after a mission with the Wardens, like he’d finally returned home. He moved back and reclined on Nathaniel’s bedroll, pulling Nathaniel down on top of him.

Nathaniel propped himself up on one arm, stroking Anders’ cheekbone with his free hand. “I don’t suppose--”

Anders smiled. “It’s been a while since I used this trick, but I can still do it,” he said, taking Nathaniel’s hand. He pulled it to his mouth, sucking on his index finger until Nathaniel’s jaw had gone slack. He removed it from his mouth and conjured a grease spell before letting go of Nathaniel’s wrist.

Nathaniel kissed his way down Anders’ body, stopping to suck a bruise onto one of his hips before pressing a finger inside of him.

As Nathaniel moved--slowly, like he was trying to crystallize the moment in amber--Anders found himself entranced once again by the way Nathaniel felt in his hands, by the way the simple sensation of feeling someone breathe beneath his fingers could be more potent than the strongest spell. He reached up and buried his fingers in Nathaniel’s hair, his heart torn between the joy of touching it once more and the knowledge that he’d never get to do this again. When they finished, they lay there on their sides and in each other’s arms, kissing in a way reminiscent of their lazy mornings together in the Wardens.

“I should--” Anders said, starting to peel himself out of Nathaniel’s embrace.

“Stay with me, Anders,” he said, stroking his spine. Anders felt himself turn to putty in Nathaniel’s hands. “Please.”

He nodded and nestled closer to Nathaniel, allowing himself this one night’s reprieve from everything that had plagued him since he’d left the Wardens.

The next day, after they’d cleared out the remaining darkspawn and found the rest of the Wardens, Nathaniel took Anders’ hand. “I should--”

“Stay with me, Nate,” Anders said in a whisper that seemed to echo through the cavern. “Please?”

Nathaniel squeezed his hand and smiled sadly. “I can’t. You could come back--”

Anders shook his head. His voice grew quieter as he said, “I love you.”

Nathaniel kissed him--gently, sweetly, as though he were simply going off to train recruits and would return to Anders’ side in a few hours. “I love you. Always.”

Anders nodded and waited until Nathaniel had walked away to let the first tear fall.

 

 


End file.
